Searching In The Deep Darkness For What I Need: Love

Searching In The Deep Darkness For What I Need: Love

In a dream, I remember being under the surface of the earth.  It is like some kind of cave/cavern.  I am searching.  I remember mostly the dark, damp earth under my feet.  I can smell it’s musty organic fragrance.  I’m searching for something deeper.  My eyes are scanning the earth.  I really do not know what I am seeking, I only know it is deep.  This cavern is chilly, and dimly lit, but I am running into the darkness and the unknown, somehow knowing that what I need is yet deeper.  But, I know I will find it.  I am not afraid, and I do not feel alone, even though I do not remember anyone being with me… but I must have felt someone was with me, because there are times when I speak something into the darkness, as though someone is there to hear me.

Then, I am in a kind of wide hallway.  I feel subdued and humble.  There is a young girl/child that I am facing, and she is clearly not a sweet innocent child; there are things that she has experienced…  She eyes me with suspension and doubt.  I look at her for awhile, and I begin to talk to her.  I speak to her gently and kindly and she is beginning to trust me.  I don’t know where it came from, but something “good” was given to me, and instead of keeping it, I offered it to the child.

She snatches it eagerly, and turns and scampers around a corner to her mother’s room or office.  The woman comes out of her office and the girl tells her what I gave to her, and the woman demands I tell her, “why?”  I do not remember what I said to her, other than that it was a simple thing to give up what I did for the child.  The woman had a hard look about her; like there was little kindness or goodness in her to give anything to anyone.  She then stated very flatly that she would not have done the same for my child.  She displayed an unfriendly smile at this.  I told her that even though I already knew that, it did not make any difference in what I would do for her, or her child.

Then, she got a glint in her eyes as she seemed to assess me; and then she went on to say that she “helped me.”  The woman seemed to be proud of what she said she did.  As she said it, I remembered what she was speaking of.  She said that when I was in the dungeon, she lined my shirt/robe with mud and feces.  And then, I remembered being in a very dark place, for a period of time…I thought it was a test that I submitted to willingly.  I’m not sure if it was 30 or 40 days.  In this dungeon I was naked, alone, and in the dark.  I remembered the wind was blowing on me and I huddled against the cold damp stone wall for protection.  At the time, I did not even notice that my one article of protection, my robe, was filled with filth, and that it ate at my skin. I do remember that it seemed like forever, and I was totally at the end of my endurance.  I was to the point of not caring if I lived or died, and became oblivious to all things; not caring or noticing anything anymore.  When I remembered this, I only marveled that it truly did not matter to me, any of the evil this woman did to me.  I found that it mattered not what I went through, I knew it was for my good and that I loved her and her child.

— I have to say that in my life, this never happened.  It was only in the night-vision.  I then prayed, “Holy Father, what is this about?  Who is this woman?  Who is the child?  What is it that is going on here?”  The answers are not always forth-coming when we ask.  This vision perplexed me for 11 years before I found it again and asked again, and this time the Giver of Dreams, my Holy Father impressed this response  to my heart…


“You cannot say you love someone and put conditions on it. 
How many times is too many times to show them your love?
You can make up all the reasonable sounding reasons and excuses for not showing love,
but how do you speak of love and not show it? 

How can you show it except for doing things that are difficult and costly?  

I show My love for you in My absolute un-conditional forgiveness once you come for forgiveness.
I covered all your sin with My love forever, once and for all.  

I do not count sin against those who belong to Me. 
If they are Mine, they are free of the accounting.  

If you want to love as I love, you must not count transgressions. 

You must not keep an accounting of what you do for another. 

I Am the One who counts those things to your account.

I only keep an account of what is good.

… You do not count the cost of love.  

In the dream you said it did not matter what the cost to you was. 
You did not care what the woman in the dream said she did to you.
You counted it for your benefit.  You will find that sacrifice always has it’s reward. 
There is never a sacrifice that is offered in purity that is not also offered to Me. 
To do good, is an offering to Me.
It blesses My heart when My children do good,
 for I Am good, and they are reflecting their Heavenly Father back to the world as a testimony to My own goodness.

You were given something that was of value, and upon seeing this child, you counted her happiness in the gift above your own. What does it matter if the woman did evil towards you? 
Are you not now standing before her blessed, and she still in the darkness of ignorance?…
her heart untrusting and closed by deception?

Love has the victory.  Love baffles those who know it not. 

Always seek love.  Not as a feeling, but as a way of being.  

What would love do in every situation? 

My child, do not miss out on an opportunity to show love.
Even though many times, those who receive will not understand the sacrifice.
Again, did I not just say that love baffles those who know it not? 
Those who walk in love will recognize it, whose who do not, will count the cost.  

Love, true love is found in the deep. 

Goodness moves upon the deep, seeking to give, to love, to sacrifice for the benefit of the one they love.  

To love unconditionally is to love Me, and to show your love for Me.
I have told you to love others as I Myself love. 

You are My children, and you shall be known by your love. 

You sought in the deep for the child and her mother to love.

You did not consider their worthiness, you only sought love.  

To come to the place where you learn un-conditional love, 

is to have experienced many times when you, yourself were not loved by others.

Yet to overcome the evil of others by the love that is sprouted in your heart, is to exercise true love for your brother.  

This is what it is to be an overcomer: To overcome evil with good.  

This is found only in the deep.  

That which is “deep” is that which is not easily discerned; it is unknown and not easily found or perceived. 

That which is “deep” is found only by those who are intentionally looking for a certain thing.  

Only the deep waters of the desert lands are found by those looking for the water. 

Only those seeking oil in the oceans, drill and find the oil of the deep.  

Only those seeking the deep things of the Father will diligently look and keep looking, and asking and seeking until

they are revealed.   

The deepest thing that you will find is love.  Love is the first thing, and it is the last thing. 

Love is the purpose, and it is also the means by which all is restored.

I have said “seek and you shall find.”  I Am love.  

Seek Me and you shall find Me; for I said I would make Myself to be found by those who diligently seek Me.  

Those who do not seek deeply will not uncover the mystery of love.

This kind of love seems so simplistic and powerless to the natural mind.  

Those who have ventured into the “deep” are mature enough to understand the power
 that is contained in a single drop of love…
—For what can man give in exchange of a single drop of Living blood from the very One who created them?

It was love that sent My Son to the cross ,and it was by Love that I was willing to allow My only begotten Son to be sacrificed as a payment for all the sin of humanity. 

I Am a Father!
 —To endure the suffering of My Son who is One with Me was a great sacrifice; it was the cost of Love!” 

“It was for the joy that was always, before the dawn of creation, set before us that we paid the price for Love.  

For We are Love.” 


[Originally composed: March 19th 2004 & July 22, 2015]


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