Again the Lord is feeding me with provision from years before! On Fathers’ Day, June 20, 2010 the Lord gave me this Manna for today, April 22, 2021…

I dreamed about a big Gathering of some kind.  I was in the middle of it.  As I advanced through all the crowd-gates that weave back and forth through the long lines of the crowds, I see a mass of people waiting to enter that which they are in line for.  It seems like there are so many.  I cannot believe that I am called up to the stage.  I don’t know how I got there.  Now that I am actually ON the stage, I look out and with this greater perspective; I see that there are not the crowds I thought there were.   It was mostly deserted looking. 

When I found myself on the stage, I remember that for a little while I could not understand how I got there or why.   I felt I did not belong there.  Then I gradually realized that they were singing and I knew the song and I had a microphone  and I wanted to show myself to be a part of this group and I began to sing with them.  Then, in thinking about it, I wondered at myself… Was I prideful in seeing myself up there?  Was my heart lifted up by my being lifted up or was it for that in which I sang… a song unto the Lord?  The whole feeling I had from this being “on stage” was “off.” It just did not feel right.

A Girl Thrashing and Trying to Swim in the Wet Sand at the Shore Line

Then, I saw a young girl who took acting lessons, by the ocean and trying to swim.  She struggled mightily in the wet sand… afraid to go deeper to get any buoyancy.   She wore a bathing suit and a helmet on her head.  As I watched her, I thought to myself that the way she was struggling, “Maybe it was a good thing she wore a helmet!”  But, I still could not understand why she did not realize that she needed to actually BE IN water to swim in it!  All she was doing was hurting herself and wearing herself out!  She was not even making much of an impact on the sand, because the tides would wash away any kind of depth that she would finally begin to create with her thrashing about.   People were watching her and her proud momma was near; But no one directed her to look up and go out to the deeper waters!  

She had been “taught” the mechanics of swimming, by a person who does not swim and therefore it is only by going through the actions that they feel they are swimming!  The teacher and the student do not KNOW that WATER is the essential part of swimming… Not just going through and performing the motions.  

All who watch, see her as, “Such a fighter!”  But, they also do not know how to swim, so they do not know that the resistance she is thrashing against is because she is not in the right element!  She must be in the water, which will bear her weight and she will actually begin to move.  The bystanders think in their unlearned and inexperienced hearts, that she is doing a great thing!  They admire her and declare, “They could not do what she is doing!”  

—But the reality is that she is doing ALL by her own Pride!  She has learned by her acting lessons, how to LOOK like she is swimming…when in fact she is not!  She would rather have the applause of the crowds as they see her every struggling move on the beach, than be obscured by the waters that will carry her.  In the water, she is supported and moved by the currents of the Spirit of God.  

On the sandy beach in just enough water to get her belly wet and cause great discomfort from the struggling, she is the show.  She gets the glory “for” God.  “Doing something for God” is her stated goal, but she is the focus.  She is putting on a show, and is in deception.  She does not know that she must have the help of the Father if she is to accomplish anything for His Kingdom and Name, and she cannot desire to receive any credit! 

As I took these visions before the LORD He spoke to my spirit…

” Leave the beach!  Head for the deep waters!
There, the currents of the Lord will carry you to the islands of the world.
 He will carry you swiftly and easily with no resistance.
Do not worry about being drowned…
He will not fail to carry you, for you are in His element.
He will take you by the currents of His Spirit as it blows across the world. 
The oceans and the winds are together in partnership with the Lord of all Creation.
Within the oceans there are the masses and multitudes of the peoples;
 It is by sinking into the depths of the waters that you are overcome by the world. 
Yes, learn to swim!  Learn to be strong and build up your strength!
 For you must learn to skim the tops of the waters.  Stay above the world, not in it!
  The Lord will always be your ready help. 
He will lead you as you swim with your physical eyes shut. 
You will arrive safely upon the appointed shores, But you must jump into the waters!
 Fear them Not!”  

Father! I prayed…  Please open my understanding to what this is about.  Father, please flood all the pride and every single speck of leaven from within Your Holy Temple!  You said,  “Beware the leaven of the Pharisees!”… I do not want any life given to the dormant and hiding specks of leaven in me, Your Temple.  I am Your possession!  Cleanse me and blow open all the doors of Your Temple!  Blow through and cleanse me of all the hidden leaven, the dormant pride that will spring to life as soon as it is given any recognition.  

It is not accident that last night I went to PRAYER QUAKE with friends.  The speaker, RK Kendell,  spoke on forgiveness/Un-forgiveness and Joseph.  He said that as long as Joseph had any part of him that desired to do anything by his own accord or timing, like being released from the prison on the  good word of the baker or the cup bearer to Pharaoh, he was still not ready for the vast Blessing the Lord prepared for him.  His heart had to be emptied of all un-forgiveness, and all desire to exalt himself.  All the glory of Joseph’s promotion was laid at the feet of His God as an offering.”  Father… I want to lay everything I do and say at Your feet as an offering unto my Lord and my Master!  Make me ultra sensitive to Your Words to me.  

 Father… Am I also the girl in the shallow waters who is struggling, who needs to go out into the deep? 
Yes, it is me!  I have been hard to hear, for the helmet on my head is also covering my ears… I am hard-headed.  I have been intent on what I was doing. –Believing that I was doing something for the Lord; But I was not in the ocean!  I have been struggling.  I have not seen anyone truly out in the ocean, flowing with the currents to the places that the Holy Master would take them! 

Again my Father’s Spirit spoke to mine..

“Everyone wants to put their name on a “ministry!”
 They name them after themselves and then say, “It is all for God!”
They have been taught to repeat the motions that were learned by their teachers:
 Their “mothers”who came before them, and were taught by their “mothers and teachers.” —None are observing how the actions are futile!
There are only a few people on the beach! The water is beckoning!
~Every surge of the Sea is another invitation to get up and dive in…
Yet the actors do not realize they are only acting. 
They are intent on what they are doing
And do not know that they are not in the right element!”  

Father, I stand up and remove my helmet!  I will walk by faith to the ocean and I will swim out and await the currents to carry me to where Your will desires me to be!  I now understand that the “work” that I have been “doing” has been unproductive!  I see that it indeed has not gone out to the sea and the multitude of people.  The only ones who see and know of my work are the very few on the beach that are watching, and none of them tells me to stand up and walk to the deeper waters and dive in!  Somehow they think I will reach the deep waters by trying harder from where I am, and that is what I have been thinking too. 

But, You can do all things!  Now that I know, I repent of all the lost time; the futile struggle and the blindness and deafness!  I see that with only my belly wet, no wonder I am frustrated and not getting anywhere!   I am a fish out of water!  Put me back into the water and take me wherever You desire!  I will do the things that I have been learning on the beach, in the element that I am supposed to be in. 

I thank You now for the bounty of fish that I can lay at Your feet!  They are Yours!  Like the disciples that hauled in the 153 fishes with no broken net or lost fish, they were caught by You!  All they had to do was to throw out the net! 
Father, You have given to me a wide net.  Take me to the places where You would have me cast that net.  Let me bring to Your feet, multiples of the 153 fishes; over and over and over!  Let me present before You all the fruit of my devotion to You.  I am learning that if there is any kind of “work” involved, it is not by Your Spirit, but rather by my own struggling and thrashing about in the wrong element.  Remind me to get up and go back to the element in which You told me to go: Into the sea and multitudes of people! 

Forgive me, and take away all my apprehension of being attacked and hated.  I confess that I was still trying to avoid that condemnation.  Father, teach me truly that is a delightful sacrifice that I can offer to You: The hatred and condemnation and mocking that will come after me on behalf of Your Name and what You are doing.  Father, with the lessons that I am learning; to truly turn the other cheek to those that would persecute me and LOVE them back so that they may see Your Love for them and they might be saved into Your Kingdom, Let me look upon the struggling as a gift I may offer back to You!  Let me regard the difficult things that people will say about me as a further affirmation that I am indeed Yours!  .. And may I have an abundance of Living waters to pour forth from my passions and belly towards them.  Let them be flooded by Your Love and Grace.  Let them be disarmed by the Words from Your Lips, spoken with my tongue.  Let their hatred be diffused by Your Love. 

Let them see a Disciple of Yah’shua, the Christ and Savior of the World!  Let them see a Disciple when they look upon me in whatever state I find myself.  Father, by Your Power and Your Grace, let’s redeem the time I have wasted thrashing on the beach, yet so near the waters!  Let’s make up for it!  Throw me out into the ocean!  Throw me into the sea and lets be “One”  as I am swallowed up in Your Love, and Your Spirit overwhelms mine.  Let all that yet hides in the darkest corners of my being be expelled now so  that I may be found to be a clean and acceptable vessel for Your use.  

In the Name of my Savior, amen!