On December 23, the morning before Christmas Eve of 2021 I sat before my Lord, as is my custom in the mornings. I begin to write out my thoughts and prayers, inviting Holy Spirit to speak, always eager to hear what He would say or lead me to in His Word. I wrote / prayed for a long time in the silence…Pondering in my heart what kind of a year we had just gone through, and trying to put into words, things I was feeling so deep within, growing stronger and stronger, but defied words to express.
This Christmas just did not “feel” like Christmas! –The decorations did not help. The shopping did not help. Even the music on my Christian station seemed like meaningless “noise” to my ears and my spirit could not find the music it craved. I did not want to hear about “Dreaming of a White Christmas and Rocking around the Christmas Tree at the Christmas Party House…” and the older traditional songs were so “up-dated” they lost their beauty and seemed like more noise. None of my old Christmas CD’s collected over the decades ministered to my spirit or soul… I needed to find music to worship Him by, as I sought to fill this space within me, to affirm this monumental gift we were all about to celebrate.
It broke my heart that it seemed much of even the Christian World seemed to have forgotten the REASON! I saw so many beautifully decorated trees and houses, and all the things that surround the Day… But as Christmas Day drew near, everything seemed so hollow! I looked around and it just seemed to me that even I had been so much like Martha preparing a dinner for Jesus and His disciples… running around cooking and cleaning… I wondered if ANYONE was left sitting with Jesus! How many were ministering to Him? How much time in getting ready for Christmas, was spent preparing our hearts to receive our King and Savior? How much time was in worship to HIM… and not to having the perfect tree, or sending cards, or planning parties, sending and wrapping gifts and all the things that go into that one night and the next day… Christmas.
As Christmas Eve approached I wondered, “How could it be so difficult to find a Christmas Eve service to attend? Why didn’t EVERY Church have a service on Christmas Eve? Did they get too busy for Jesus too?” We had to go find a different church to attend a service on Christmas Eve!
Reflecting on the year behind, and all the happenings in the world, disturbed my spirit. Maybe that is why so many people seemed so distracted from Christmas. Is it that they just could not get done with the year fast enough? Had Christmas REALLY just become another day? Was it just me and those I knew who had expressed that sentiment to me? What WAS this, “un-named thing” I was feeling stronger and stronger by the day… making all this Christmas stuff seem so flimsy and meaningless to me? I only wanted Him. All this other stuff seemed to just hide Him and the reason we were to celebrate. It was the Birth of the Son of God to save us… and we all seemed too busy to notice the significance of the birth and to spend time with this Redeemer and Lord! All I wanted was to lay at His feet and be in His presence…and my heart ached to see EVERYONE else desire to do so too! I know nothing else can satisfy!
Finally… not hearing anything from my Lord as I wrote and poured out my heart to Him I retreated to my prayer closet to be with my Lord. I lay before Him like Mary who bathed His feet with her tears… I knew I just needed to give HIM “The sacrifice of TIME” now! I needed to leave all the other things that “needed to be done” behind, and just BE with Him, who is my Lord and King, the desire of my heart! I must leave the world behind…The flesh of mine must be put down! It is a filthy rag that is thrown off when I finally jump into Your embrace! Let Your words be my food and drink! Your rest: Mine! Your will: Mine!
Holy Father, can my love minister to You? I know You look down upon this world, so full of filth of mind, body, soul and spirit; Corruption of all things You created and counterfeits of all that is good, false doors leading to the Deceiver, false profits, false christians, false gospels and false love!
Now Holy Spirit spoke to my searching spirit…
“Truth has been abandoned in the muck of the street, where she has been thrown out;
For she speaks things that afflict the flesh of mankind.
Mankind will not hear of it: –“There must be another way, an easier way, a more agreeable “god” to follow and give our devotion to!”
And so they created their own “god,” made by their world’s wisdom like a wish-list, of attributes they would like their “god who is not a god” to be like.
They have created a “god” in their own image and like them.
—Judging with the flexibility of their own reasoning, forgiving and condemning according to their feelings and what is comfortable to their flesh and agreeable to their minds.
According to the wisdom of the world, they have reimagined Me.
Who is this King? Who is this Son of Man? Who is this Son of God?
Who is this Conqueror who permits the sin and filth of all the ages to be placed upon Himself?
And even as He carries their filth and sin, they have lifted themselves above Him, condemned Him, killed Him, spit upon Him, blasphemed His name!
The chain of their sin, the diseases of their own filth of mind and body carried by Him, accumulated upon Him until ALL of it had been accounted for: All. Of. It.
It would take every drop of blood from this King of Kings, the First and the Last,
from eternity to eternity, to account for the vastness of the pollution of man-kind
and to bring forth forgiveness, washing, and re-birth into the Kingdom of the Father!
He took every lash. He despised not a single punch. He turned not His holy Face
away from the spittle, the slaps, the insults, the mockery and abuse of those
He lovingly made and intimately knew! He would not leave a spot on mankind!
— For all must be spotless in order to be presented before His Father, to come into the presence of the Ancient of Days.
These are days of washing and cleaning for those who will come to the Living waters
and be cleansed and refreshed.
There are many who try to bar the way, for they do not want to acknowledge that
their robes are crusted with filth!
To the fallen world they appear dressed in white,
but in the eyes of the Lord they are diseased and dead; Clothed in their deadness
that they have masked as righteousness and good works.
That which is from death is death! That which is from life is life!
A dead man cannot produce works of life!
This is why so many cannot come into the light of truth, for it will reveal what is beneath the flesh of a man. Is he alive? Or is he dead?
The eye of man cannot see into the chambers of truth… My eyes go where man cannot see.
I behold the reins, the motives behind actions and works and words; Examining the forces that influence every thought and word and deed.
These I test, and pull and tune and tighten and loosen according to the resonance that is desired by both child and Father…
All who come to Me are disciplined, washed, guarded and…*delivered!”
As I sit here and ponder all that Holy Father shared with me… It breaks my heart to know that He sees and knows intimately ALL the garbage in the hearts, minds, and souls of man-kind. At this time of year when we are all so concerned about what we are going to buy for someone else… What are WE willing to give to HIM? How about a Gift exchange this year with the Creator of heaven and earth, King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and the Savior who is the Word of God made flesh, and came to give eternal Life to all who would receive and believe on Him?
So, what are we willing to give Him for such a gift? How about our lives? How about our sins and failures? How about our destitute and empty hearts? How about all our fear for tomorrow? How about all the emptiness that plagues us as the world gets darker and darker by the year, in exchange for the fullness of joy and purpose He has in abundance for us? We will never understand peace and fulfillment until we do. It is the very best Gift exchange ever imagined!
May you have a very fulfilling, full and Merry Christmas and eternal life in Christ this year and forever more!