The Temptation To Doubt…

The Temptation To Doubt…

Today, the Lord brought this vision and teaching to me as my Manna for the day. I must marvel once again at His timing, and His perfect understanding of what I truly need! Indeed, He gives to ALL that are His, ALL that we need, in the perfect proportions and at the perfect time!

February 1, 2010, I woke up from a very vivid dream, and the first thing that I can remember is that I am sitting out on a large porch with a bunch of people that I do not consider either friends or foe. They are friendly enough, but they are all strangers to me.  I am waiting.  I know I have been waiting a long time, and the time, and the day is getting late.   All this time I am waiting outside for my husband to come back out and get me.  I know he just has to finish what he needed to do, and I am waiting for him to completely accomplish all he set out to do and then, I KNOW when he is done, he will come and meet me here, just as he said he would.   I have absolute confidence in him, and I agreed to wait here for him. 

Over time, the people that surround me, learn what I am waiting for.  They increasingly have less confidence in my husband returning for me; But I know he will, and I do not doubt him. I am not swayed by what they say.  He is my husband and I trust him. The accusations are growing stronger and stronger, and more persistent. The people who are hanging around first imply, and then later flat out insist that my husband is being unfaithful to me! “It has been too long for anyone to wait! Give up on him!” They try to convince me that I should at least go in and check up on him. I have ignored them for a long time and I am getting sick of listening to them. 

The leader of this group now begins to show me pictures of women that my husband is supposedly with, and “helping.”  I know he is helping these people! —They are exactly the kind of people that he went to help! Of course!  They show me a picture of my husband with a woman who is wearing a very “slutty” outfit that consists of wide strips of black leather across her chest and around her hips, leaving much of her skin exposed.  But I know that she is not the type that could tempt my husband!  But then they query, “Why did she have to dress that way anyway?”  They imply that something more is going on, and seek to make me doubt him, and his promises of faithfulness to me.  “Why is he taking so long?” I am still confident, but I have to admit that now I wanted to go to him, just to PROVE that he was faithful and they are wrong! It has been a long time, but I know that I will find him doing exactly what he went to do. I know they are wrong! 

Now, I feel like I am going in to vindicate him, and prove to them that my trust has been merited.  —My husband is blameless, and they will shut up now! Finally, I decided to go in and find my husband. I got up from my vigil on the porch to go in.  I see myself going into the house and walking through an open area.   I am going to go to the back of the house where I think I will find my husband!

 I have entered the house and I begin to walk through a large open room filled with men to the part of the house or building where I hope to find my husband.  The men are crude, and as I enter they are making loud and lewd comments about me and what they think of my body “under my skirt” and what they would like to do.  I hear them all, but I feel so protected! —Like I KNOW that they will not make a move from their chairs or leaning against the wall to approach me.  I just KNOW they would not dare touch me, because my husband is near.  They are also talking about what they believe or they want me to believe my husband is doing!  They insist that, “He is being unfaithful to me, so why worry about being loyal to him?”  I hear specific comments about the bustle on my skirt. I see that I am wearing a long white gauzy skirt with tiny pleats all around, but very light and airy. I see the back of my skirt is so pleated that it looked like a bustle on a wedding dress…Still, I feel totally protected.
But, the taunting continues and intensifies.  The men in the room seem like a pack of hungry wolves around a lamb, but I had felt so protected!  Over time as my trust in my husband continues to be attacked,  I eventually allowed myself to consider that, MAYBE he owes me an explanation for leaving me for so long… Immediately, as soon as I even entertained the slightest doubt, I begin to feel vulnerable to the hostile men in the room.  And now as soon as I feel like maybe my husband even owes me an explanation for his delay, I begin to feel more vunerable.  I am now beginning to consider that maybe I could be attacked!  As soon as I feel vulnerable, I also begin to feel anger with my husband for putting me in the position where I am exposed and can be attacked.  But I know that it is only because I entertained thoughts of doubt in his faithfulness to me!  

I remember at the end of the dream I was finally upset with my husband.  I had understood what his motives were, and  I so completely trusted him that it was impossible to make me suspicious or mistrustful of him.  But at the end of the dream, it seemed that maybe I had not over esteemed him, but I still just needed to get his explanation to the questions that had been presented to me.  I knew that all this time, the goal was to make ME feel mistrustful of my husband, and to provoke me to jealousy and mistrust.  

I know what this dream is about!   I know that my husband is representing my Beloved Savior Jesus! I know that I am waiting for Him, and I must be patient and trust Him!  I must never allow the enemy to persuade me to entertain the slightest doubt in His protection of me.  It is DOUBT that exposes me to danger!  As long as I TRUST and rest in that trust, believing in His Faithfulness and goodness, I am completely safe.  I cannot be touched! But the enemy knows that IF they can get me to allow even the most tiny doubt, I will  become weakened.  I am surrounded by the enemy and  they are powerless against me unless I allow them  power and access to me by listening to them or allowing their taunts to trouble me in the least.  Just weakening my trust, just allowing the smallest seed of questioning to enter in, is enough to make me feel threatened, then INSTANTLY I blamed the Lord for His being late and exposing me,  allowing me to be in this position!  

I am the one who entered!  I am the one who decided to go in and I am the one who doubted and put myself in danger!  Had I maintained my faith, I NEVER would have been in any danger! I gave into the taunting!   I was instructed to wait!  The Lord did not tell me to go in there!  Sometimes He will keep us from entering a place simply because the enemy inside is too many for us to resist, and if our protection, maintained by our faith is allowed to slip, we would be in danger.  

Thank You Holy Father for this demonstration!  Thank You for this truth!  I understand this now.    Help me to remember this and to have wisdom to never allow myself to distrust You and Your promises!  

2 Peter 3:3-8 (NKV)
knowing this first: that scoffers will come in the last days, walking according to their own lusts, and saying, “Where is the promise of His coming? For since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of creation.” For this they willfully forget: that by the word of God the heavens were of old, and the earth standing out of water and in the water, by which the world that then existed perished, being flooded with water. But the heavens and the earth which are now preserved by the same word, are reserved for fire until the day of judgment and [a]perdition of ungodly men. But, beloved, do not forget this one thing, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. 
2 Peter 3:9-11The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. 10 But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up. 11  Since all these things are to be thus dissolved, what kind of persons ought you to be…
Matthew 10:22- And ye shall be hated of all men for My Name’s sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved 
James 4:7n- Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Isaiah 12:2 -Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the LORD JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation.
Psalms 91:1- He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
John 14:3 – And if I go and prepare a place for you, I am coming again and will take you to Myself, so that where I am, there you also will be.

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